Category Archives: problems white parents have

More First World Problems

We are in the throes of preparing to move. We’re only moving about two miles away, but damn it, we still have to pack up all of our stuff.

On top of that fun, the Boopsie has an ear infection and bronchitis. She’s also decided that dinner is for suckers and drinking milk a couple of times a night is where it’s at. I know I can’t hold it against a kid who’s sick, but we will be seeking a remedy to the “night time milk” as soon as she’s better. It’s going to require some serious backbone-building for me and Daddy-o.

I will say, I’m glad my mama instinct wasn’t totally whack. Her cough, which came on pretty suddenly just as a cold was winding down, sounded different than any other cough she’s had. I was certain the doctor was going to tell me she had a virus today, and relieved when we got the diagnoses. Treatable with something other than time. Because I’ve got to tell you, this getting up a couple of times a night business is just wrong.

In other first-world dilemma news, we are hunting for a new day care. The move gives us a nice opportunity to change. Now that we’re looking I’m feeling all unsure about changing her day care — it’s the whole “devil you know” versus the one you don’t business. We’ve interviewed a nice woman with a home day care, and are checking her references. I was hoping for some divine sign that she’d be a better place for Ruby and I haven’t received it yet. I’ve also got a tour lined up at a Montessori school on Friday, but it’s 75 percent more expensive than our current arrangement. And while our current arrangement isn’t terribly expensive, it’s not the cheapest option either. I don’t know what we’re going to do, and of course, I’m torn.

So sick of germs. So happy we changed health insurance to a kind where we pay co-pays instead of out-of-pocket for every office visit. Phew.

And that is the latest dispatch from the land of the privleged. I hope you’ll forgive me.

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Filed under day care, drudgery, medical, mom guilt, problems middle class parents have, problems white parents have

The Campaign

I think Boopsie is running a secret campaign to ensure she never has a sibling. (That, or she read my post “Clicking.”)

The evidence:

1) Pooping in the tub. Pooping. In. The. Tub. Three times now. And I’ve tried to help Daddy-o clean up after time #2 and time #3, but I retched. (By the way, what’s going to happen when he’s on a business trip and she poops in the tub? Is there a service I can call for that? I mean, you can hire a poop-scooper for your dog, why not your kid?)

2) Willful defiance. This is how it goes down: I tell her no. She responds by looking at me, smiling, and then doing exactly what I just told her she shouldn’t do. It’s kind of exhausting. I know it’s a toddler thing, but damn… really?

3) Waking up. She’s decided (in the last week) that 5 or 5:30 a.m. is the new ideal time to wake up and party. It doesn’t matter if she’s up later, she gets up early. Really. damn. early. I am not a morning person, and this is trying.

We sold our house and are just on the cusp of buying another. This is not a small deal. (Disclaimer: It’s time for a good ol’ white parent/first-world problem) I’m already trying to figure out how to best manage the move (approximately two miles) such that Boopsie feels as calm and secure as possible. (Yes, I am that anal.) I’m also trying to figure out day care…this gives us the opportunity to explore new day care options… though it’s not smart to switch day care at the same time as we move because that could be too much change for Boo. It all sounds stressful. Hell, it IS stressful. So it would really be helpful if Boopsie would sleep a little later!!!

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Filed under adventures, firsts, problems middle class parents have, problems white parents have

Someday I will be able to laugh about this…

Oh what a weekend!

Friday I picked Boopsie up from daycare and learned that she naps in an armchair. And frequently falls asleep in a Johnny-Jump-Up. WTF? How tacky is that? Since when is it okay first for a tot to get so tired that she falls asleep in a bouncing toy? (JESUS that sounds bad!) And since when is it cool for a 17-month-old to sleep in an armchair?

Oh goody! So begins another daycare hunt! (Except that we might move… and we don’t know where… so how do we pick a day care?)

Saturday I was spending time with some friends when I got an SOS from Daddy-o. Boopsie puked. Everywhere. She had the stomach flu. Luckily, she seems to be on the mend. And luckily for me (sorry Daddy-o) I missed the big first barf. Have I mentioned lately that my husband is a trooper?

Today Boopsie woke up… with a head cold. She is sneezing and snotting all over the place. Poor kid. I hope the antibiotics she’s still on for the ear infection help keep her from getting another one. Crikey!

On the upside:

  • I grocery shopped, made dinner tonight and am making this for Tuesday night. (Because I am planning ahead! FTW!)
  • Boopsie signed “more please” today. I nearly peed my pants.
  • She got the stomach flu in the daytime, rather than in the middle of the night.
  • Today we went to the coolest book store ever.

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Filed under adventures, books, day care, problems middle class parents have, problems white parents have

Choosing to Vaccinate

vaccine syringe and handThere’s a very interesting feature article in Minnesota Monthly this month about childhood vaccinations and people to refuse them for their children. The Refusers (by Tim Gihring) looks at some of the controversy surrounding vaccines and contains interviews from people who have been harmed by vaccines and those who promote vaccination.

This article has been stuck in my head since I read it a couple of weeks ago,  which is pretty amazing given everything else competing for head space these days. I would consider myself as slightly “vaccine hesitant,” even though I know the MMR/autism study from The Lancet has been retracted.  Boopsie has gotten her vaccines, but I’ve looked for small ways to space them out and I’ve established a totally arbitrary limit of three “pokes” per doctor’s visit. Still, I worry about vaccines and honestly, most of that worry is about autism. That’s why this anecdote from Ashley Shelby, a pro-vaccine activist, totally stuck in my head:

“It’s the new parents I’m worried about—they don’t know what to believe,” she says. “But I’ve given the hardcore anti-vaxers up for dead. Doctors wouldn’t say this, but I will: would you rather your child be dead than have autism? Think about it—that’s essentially what these people are saying, and how offensive is that?”

It’s true — I don’t know what to believe.I know they’ve never found a vaccine/autism link, but how can SO MANY parents be wrong about their children’s experiences? I can’t discount their observations. It seems that everything with vaccinations is incredibly charged these days (shoot, just read the comments and accusations and anger reflected in the comments section of the article!) and it’s hard to trust what the government says. But for now, I’m comfortable choosing a risk of autism over a risk of measles, polio or other potentially devastating disease. What about you?

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Filed under medical, mom guilt, problems white parents have, Uncategorized

French Fried Onions (Or why I am DONE with SuperTarget)

I have been anticipating this week for a while. I had a distinct vision for this week. Primarily, my vision had to do with a quiet work

French's French Fried Onions

Really, SuperTarget? This is the MIDWEST. Frech Fried Onions practically ARE Christmas Dinner.

week… I envisioned time to clean up my e-mail, do some busywork I needed to take care of and generally sort things out before a nice break from work. In the evenings I would calmly proceed through my remaining holiday tasks, perched in front of our lit Christmas tree. (Those tasks? Christmas cards, craft project, final shopping, wrapping, cookie-baking. Yep, lots.)

Would it surprise you if I said that my vision did not come true?

Well, it did not. Work was hell. A special sort of hell filled with IT craziness and corporate America ickiness and just general annoying crappiness that all came together and meant I didn’t get squat done that I’d hoped to. And somehow I’m still “on call” while our company shuts down between Christmas and New Year’s. Awesome.

And at home? Frantic. And no sitting in front of the lit Christmas tree. And no cookies baked and still several presents to wrap. And increasing crabbiness.

So tonight has been the pinnacle of banal craptastic annoyingness (at least I hope this is the pinnacle): I spent two hours trying to send a stupid e-mail (IT mess). So I took a break and set out to check grocery shopping off the list. I trotted off to SuperTarget with my list, which included French Fried Onions for two batches of green bean casserole.

I found everything I needed at SuperTarget except those crucial French Fried Onions. If this were a one-time occurrence and I hadn’t had such a stupid week, this wouldn’t be a big deal. Unfortunately, this is a recurring theme with SuperTarget: They often don’t have a basic ingredient that I need. I’ve run into this same issue before with breadcrumbs, frozen squash, and other commonly-needed items. So here it is, two days before Christmas and SuperTarget doesn’t have French Fried Onions. Seriously, SuperTarget? No French Fried Onions? This means I have to make another trip to another grocery store tomorrow. When I wanted to hang out with my family and sit in front of the lit Christmas tree. GAHHHH!

On my way out to my car, I decided: I’m done with SuperTarget. Indefinitely. I might only last a week. Heck, I might only last a day. But I’m done with SuperTarget and their capricious lack of important items.

I know this isn’t *really* about SuperTarget. It’s a bigger issue than that.

I’m so tired of being the “it” person, the “go-to gal,” the organizer, the runner, the keep-it-together and keep-it-all moving person… at work and at home. I want to stop. I need to stop. I am mentally and emotionally fried..done done done. Unfortunately, I can’t be done. I don’t get to stop everything and retreat. So for now I’m going to have to settle with being done with SuperTarget.

 

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Turning the day around… in 20 steps

Today was kind of a crummy day, in sort of a “White Parent Problem” way. Nothing tragic, just annoyances and frustrations serving as the icing on the cake of being tired and stressed out. Oh, and I picked up a $281 prescription rash cream for Boopsie that I don’t even want to use on her, but I’m feeling stuck. (More on that later. Some time when I’ve had a glass of wine.)

But then, something funny happened. Or rather, kind of amazing. For the last three weeks Boopsie has been tottering a few steps at a time, usually three or four, but sometimes up to six. Tonight, while my parents were over for a visit, she took off. It was like s switch flipped in her head. She found her balance, and for lack of a better term, her mojo. Suddenly, Boopsie wasn’t hesitant to walk. She wasn’t taking a few steps and dropping to her knees. She was WALKING. Twenty steps at a time and even more. CLICK. Just like that.

Suddenly, my day got pretty cool.

Take that, world.

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Filed under firsts, problems middle class parents have, problems white parents have

WPP – Keeping My Part-Time Career Part-Time

It’s time for another “Problem White Parents Have,” or “WPP” (White Parent Problem) for short.

I have a career… and a part-time position at a Fortune 500 company. This position is funded at 60% of full-time, which equates to roughly 24 hours per week. The challenge? There’s way more interesting, challenging and demanding work than what fits in 24 hours and I’m always battling myself.

My career-minded, over-achieving side says: Work longer! Work harder! Do more! There is a lot of interesting opportunity and it feels good to accomplish things and challenge myself.

My family-minded, over-achieving side says: Do not “volunteer” for a Fortune 500 company! Go home and go for a run and make a nice healthy dinner for your family! (And take a nap if you can squeeze it in!)

I tend to struggle with this… I feel like I’m always behind somewhere. I know this is how basically every mother, and working mother feels. Not especially unique, but I actually pay for time (with a lower salary) and still struggle with looking for harmony. Juggle, juggle, juggle. What should you take away from this?

I guess that we’re all in it together. And we’re dang lucky to have jobs, eh?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go work on my career-work…

 

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