As the 2012 London Olympics are starting to wind down (at least I think they are), I want to share a couple of thoughts about the daily “Toddler Olympics.” People keep telling me I look skinny, and I keep telling them it’s because I have an almost-2-year-old. It’s non-stop boogie time. Anyway, I’d like to propose some official “Toddler Olympics” events:
- The too-close-to-the-street sprint – Faux toddlers (like those rabbits dogs at a racetrack chase) are set off close to a traffic hazard. Because they don’t respond to a scream of “STOP!” (just like real toddlers) the parent competitors must sprint from a location of at least 50 feet away. Regulation footwear is flip flops.
- Sleep deprivation contest: Do I even need to describe this? Parents complete logic and everyday tasks on little sleep. Points are given for speed and accuracy. Good luck with the stuck zipper! (hint: don’t use the sewing shears)
- Speed laundry-folding: No seriously, fold faster. (See below, #1)
For the tots:
- Mess-it-up: This is a judged event, like gymnastics. Each competitor is given 45 seconds alone in a wonderfully neat bedroom. After 45 seconds judges enter and award points for creating chaos and destruction. Bonus points are given for unfolding clothes and torn book pages.
- Phone-orientation: Head-to-head competition. Parents hide cell phones “out of reach” (HA!) and see which tot can find the phone fastest. Variation: Winner is first to unlock said phone and place a call (bonus points for calls to China, India or any country on the African continent).
- Bed-time stalling: Pure time… whine until the read another book. Winner stays up longest. This is technically a team event as it’s an immediate DQ if the parent dozes off first.
What do you think? What other events belong in the Toddler Olympics?