Toddler Olympics

As the 2012 London Olympics are starting to wind down (at least I think they are), I want to share a couple of thoughts about the daily “Toddler Olympics.” People keep telling me I look skinny, and I keep telling them it’s because I have an almost-2-year-old. It’s non-stop boogie time. Anyway, I’d like to propose some official “Toddler Olympics” events:

For parents:

  1. The too-close-to-the-street sprint – Faux toddlers (like those rabbits dogs at a racetrack chase) are set off close to a traffic hazard. Because they don’t respond to a scream of “STOP!” (just like real toddlers) the parent competitors must sprint from a location of at least 50 feet away. Regulation footwear is flip flops.
  2. Sleep deprivation contest: Do I even need to describe this? Parents complete logic and everyday tasks on little sleep. Points are given for speed and accuracy. Good luck with the stuck zipper! (hint: don’t use the sewing shears)
  3. Speed laundry-folding: No seriously, fold faster. (See below, #1)

For the tots:

  1. Mess-it-up: This is a judged event, like gymnastics. Each competitor is given 45 seconds alone in a wonderfully neat bedroom. After 45 seconds judges enter and award points for creating chaos and destruction. Bonus points are given for unfolding clothes and torn book pages.
  2. Phone-orientation: Head-to-head competition. Parents hide cell phones “out of reach” (HA!) and see which tot can find the phone fastest. Variation: Winner is first to unlock said phone and place a call (bonus points for calls to China, India or any country on the African continent).
  3. Bed-time stalling: Pure time… whine until the read another book. Winner stays up longest. This is technically a team event as it’s an immediate DQ if the parent dozes off first.

What do you think? What other events belong in the Toddler Olympics?



Filed under adventures, drudgery, sleep

2 responses to “Toddler Olympics

  1. Christy

    I think I need to hear the story about the stuck zipper — walk soon?

  2. Meggan

    LOVE this. Missed it when you posted it, but it got me both laughing out loud and terrified for the future as my little one is on the brink of true mobility. 🙂

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