One week from today Boopsie will be one. Her party is on the 20th and I can’t stop obsessing about cake. First, I don’t want her to
eat cake because it has SUGAR. Not just sugar, but SUGAR, and god forbid, FROSTING. But then I think about trying to figure out how to make her an all-natural, lower sugar alternative (which as long as it’s really carb-y, she would love) and it’s overwhelming. And then I think about how I’m overwhelmed by a cake and maybe I’m in over my head. Not only is there the issue of cake for her to smash, but there’s cake for 12 adults and 2 other kids to consider.*
I’m also vascillating between wanting to be really low key about her birthday party and catching myself planning a really beautiful, involved soiree for a one year old. Twinkly lights and capiz shell mobile beautiful. Coordinated cake and plates and napkins and fresh flowers beautiful. Goody bags and a cute activity beautiful. I definitely have a vision, I just lack time to execute. Heck, I can’t even figure out a cake.
Worse than that, I seriously have to work on her birthday. I say “seriously” because sometimes I have flexibility, but this isn’t one of those times. Instead it’s a time with five big, important, concurrent projects that have my brains on the verge of going boom-boom-splat. My parents (Grammie and Grampie) are going to take her on her birthday so she doesn’t have to go to day care. Lucky baby is going to go to the zoo or something fun. Me? I’ll be trying not to cry in my meetings thinking about how I’m not with my baby on her first birthday. (Yes, I realize she won’t even remember her first birthday and that this is no big deal.)
Tonight I was thinking about the time last fall when I realized I had stopped counting her age in days and started counting it in weeks. And then we made the transition from weeks to months. And how now we’re almost to a “year” and it made me a little verclempt (again). But then Boopsie started picking up handfuls of food off her tray and flinging them onto the floor and I was able to snap out of it. I think that needs to be my mantra from now until after her party…. Snap Out Of It!**
*For the record, that’s our in-town family, not a bunch of strangers I invited so Boopsie could have a big first birthday party.
** I wonder if I’d feel more rational about all of this if she was sleeping through the night. Yup, probably.