I was in labor with Boopsie from 6:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. (fortunately short, I know). It was active and I had zero rest that night. I spent the next two nights in the hospital while my husband (aka Daddy-o) went home to sleep each night. Over those two nights in the hospital, I got about eight hours of sleep… total. So, when Boopsie and I went home, I had slept eight hours in three nights. Not unusual, I know. So this is what I want to pass on to other new fathers out there, so you don’t make the same mistake Daddy-o did:
Do not, under any circumstances talk about how tired you are while your baby mama is within ear shot. JUST DON’T DO IT. Wait until you go back to work and tell your coworkers. Call a friend while you are out running an errand. Send an e-mail to your mother. But under no circumstances, should you ever talk about how tired you are near your wife/baby mama. Because you know what? I can pretty much guarantee she is even more tired than you are. To review:
- Your baby mama has either pushed a baby out or had it cut from her abdomen (in some cases, a little of both)
- She’s had her body violated fourteen ways to Sunday
- She’s been woken up or interrupted at least every two hours — by nurses, or by the baby
And the worst part for her? That’s just the beginning.
I distinctly remember sitting in the nursery, trying to breastfeed the baby for the 6th or 8th time in a day, listening to Daddy-o tell visitors and people on the phone about how tired he was… and seething. Tired? Yeah sure, maybe he was tired, but who was he to be talking about how tired he was? I could show him tired! He didn’t even know what tired was! He didn’t… breathe. Breathe.
So please, for the health of your relationship and your baby mama’s sanity, suck it up and leave the “I’m so tired talk” up to her. You can do it. I believe in you.